*Remaining thoughts of the Winter Stag met with an aspect of my personality and created a different dream. The moment I recall first was standing in a white room with a small computer screen near by, one of the old types with a grainy background and bright green, squared characters. The room itself had a glow/fading look similiar to a cliched movie vision of Heaven. On the computer screen was my file at what I already knew was the hospital. I was also aware of being pregnant with a single fetus despite not feeling any 'bump'. A fair skinned woman who's hair and eye color I never noticed walked out. She held a clipboard with two papers on it against her chest with both hands and was dressed like an advertisement for nurse fetish wear. But it didn't seem odd at the time. She was around throughout the dream like that without ever speaking or doing anything. It seems she was just a fixture of the scenes. A man a few inches shorter than me stood by her with a smile that proved he had already met me on previous visits. He hadn't shaved the area surrounding his mustache in a while. But it didn't seeem odd at the time. At that moment I became aware of the information regarding my pregnancy on the computer screen: I was 2-3 months along and I was carrying a male. If my personality were ever altered to the point that I was willing to go become pregnant then nothing could terrify or enrage me more than the idea of carrying/birthing a boy. But I wasn't bothered by that in the dream. Then I saw that my weight was now 338 lbs. The number glowed brighter and was all I could see. For a moment I thought I'd faint or scream. I turned to the doctor and fetish nurse, he was still smiling and she was still stoic. Without hearing my own voice I knew I'd gasped the words, "I need an abortion." Still smiling, the doctor gave a side ways nod to me.

The next scene took place in the abortion room (not sure of the proper name). I won't go into details regarding the physical process. Suffice it to say many needles and moments of below the waist discomfort were involved. Finally the fetus was laying across the doctor's right arm rather than growing in my body. The doctor's facial expression wasn't warm and smiling any more though, he looked confused or unsure of something. I realized then everything that had gone wrong and shouldn't be. The fetus was the size/development of a baby almost one year old. There was no blood and he was porcelain white. On one side of his head was a massive antler that was white and shined almost like it was crafted from pearls. In the doctor's left hand was the other antler that had broken off. I don't know how to properly describe how he really looked, but I was/am trapped between two feelings: that he was death and that he was the Winter Stag. The dream ended that way. With the stoic fetish nurse and the short, dark doctor. Myself filled with needles and my porcelain son with broken antlers.

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note: I still hate pro-lifers.
note: I took some photos that I think had a symbiotic relationship with this dream. Later I'll most likely post 3/4 of them.